One thing that people do to really discourage themselves during a career change is this:

Expecting the career change to happen quicker than it actually does.  

The scenario goes a little something like this:

You lined up your steps and had a solid plan to make career change happen.


The problem?

You’re rigid in your expectations and finding out the hard way that there’s no breathing room in your plan – even if you planned for breathing room (and money). You not only planned out the steps, but also when things would happen, exactly how things should all unfold, and who would be the ones to deliver.


How about this: While yes, you control a lot of things, you don’t control everything. Wisdom is knowing when which is the case.

So, why all the rigmarole? Kerfuffle? Inner chaos?

Simply: Rigid ways of being are hard on you because they oppose what is actually happening. And this resistance is your ego’s way of hiding something from you about yourself.

Namely that you’re human.

And that like all humans, sometimes you suffer from bouts of low self-respect, self-love, and self-worth.

Whether you want to admit it or not. Like it or not.

And you’re especially vulnerable to this during times of career change.

It feels almost doubtful that this is the case because you know that you have something to contribute. This doesn’t mean that your self-esteem can handle the transition though because it feels like your contribution is on hold. A part of you frets: “How can I contribute if no one is letting me?”

But you forget contribution occurs from giving yourself permission to contribute. It doesn’t come from having a job. You can contribute whether you have a job or not. And believing otherwise is the folly of valuing your worth only in terms of paid work.

This is why having your job as your identity is so hard on you.

Truth: You don’t and won’t always have a job. And before you ever got a job for the first time, you were contributing to the world around you through being you. Add to that that you don’t love and accept other people based on the fact that they earn money, so (really) why would you treat yourself like that?

All the planning and preparation for how life will unfold can’t protect you from your own hidden, secret mean talk to yourself about yourself.

This is noteworthy since a lack of self-acceptance will subtly or overtly perfume all your interactions – and not in a good way while you are looking for work. This makes the process feel even slower and more painful than it needs to be. For you and everyone else involved. (Ugh. I know.)

But there is a solution:

While you’re planning your career change, plan too to create a positive experience of yourself as a human being with or without a job, however long things take to happen and however they happen.  

How? Date, woo, and court yourself before, during and after your career changes. In fact, never stop taking yourself for granted. Love you no matter what is going on around you. Always.

Even if things take awhile – and big things do take time until the tipping point happens, you never want to feel like you were waiting for something when you could have been enjoying the process.

Because when you do get what you want (and you will), you won’t enjoy it. And what’s the point of that?